paristwists:
soft-santiago:
lindzbizkit:
celestialmoonchild:
Intimacy is beyond kisses and cuddles and sex. Intimacy is getting a headache and taking a nap, and waking up to your laundry folded and your partner rubbing your back. Intimacy is crying and yelling at night about your past to someone who listens and comforts you. Intimacy is watching shows in your pjs for hours and eating pizza together and being able to communicate love through holding hands. It’s never running out of conversation but doing it anyways to enjoy silence.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Intimacy was defined by my health teacher as: Being able to feel vulnerable with someone while still feeling safe.
intimacy, according to my professor of philosophy, is to be able to say “I do not know” without fear of being judged.
You know you close when ya’ll don’t close the bathroom door anymore
afroclusterfunk:
draumbooty:
deicide4122:
draumbooty:
draumbooty:
draumbooty:
draumbooty:
draumbooty:
draumbooty:
draumbooty:
draumbooty:
I had to pee really bad and o forgot that I had just sliced jalapeño peppers and the chef is looking nice at me weird because I’m pouring milk on a rag and running to the bathroom
My dick has been on fire for over an hour
I told my chef what happened and he was like “you only make that mistake about fourteen times”
He tells me this story about this time he had gotten out of a chili class in which he had been cutting habenjero peppers all class and he goes back to his dorm and starts finger blasting his girlfriend and she stars SCREECHING.
She he fukin SPRINTS to the dorm prep kitchen and gets a gallon of heavy cream and runs back to the room. He starts pouring this shit all over her Cooze right, and she’s like shoveling cream into her hole. And he’s freaking out. Like he’s so sure that this chick is don’t with him forever.
So they deal with this thing and the cream works and he’s like massaging it into her pussy for like a half an hour because you have to constantly soak it to nullify the habenjero oils or whatever. And she gets INTO IT.
She fucking CUMS
And my chef tells me this stupid ass story and looks me in the eye and says to me
“Nothing says I love you like a gallon of heavy cream in her pussy”
And I think that’s the best sentence I’ve ever heard in my entire life.
Yes good story but WHY IS IT IN LIKE 8 DIFFERENT PARTS DO YOU KNOW WHAT PARAGRAPHS ARE.
ITS THIS. YOU COULD HAVE DONE THIS.
SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE AT WORK AND CANT POST EVERYTHING AT ONE TIME FUCK OFF
its serialized. he’s a modern day dickens
charuchii:
amatasera:
tastefullyoffensive:
100 to 0
IMMA FUCKING KILL YOU
oh wait this is actually pretty good thank you
he attac but then he snac
madhattey:
b133d-4-u:
thatpettyblackgirl:
wow
And he didn’t even go on some fantastic adventure with Nani or anything; he just stuck around through her lowest point in life because he wanted to be there for her and help her out. David is the real Disney Prince.
GIVE DAVID THE APPRECIATION HE DESERVES
portaljumper339:
mizzmello:
@ the ppl who claim Light had a long and tumultuous downfall to insanity caused by the “power of the notebook”…. he’s literally calling himself God and screaming at a TV halfway into the second episode? I mean, relatable, but hardly a journey…
Dude saw the slippery slope and decided to grab a sled
kingcheddarxvii:
“Not all men” I say, “there is but one who is purely good.” But which man am I referring to? In Iceland, deep in the woods and the snow, there lives a lad raised by wolves who feasts upon sunbeams and loves all of nature, unburdened by man’s sins. Tenderly, he strokes a hungry squirrel, sharing with her the last acorns of the autumn harvest. A tear rolls down his cheek. Who is he
obtrta:
gynelsy:
kinda wanna relationship, kinda wanna stay single my whole life, kinda wanna go on adventures, kinda wanna stay in my bed my whole life
It’s the Baggins side of your bloodline fighting the Took in you
(Source: scorpiogy)
saipng:
squiddleprincess:
saipng:
new concept: tumblr jail
if a post gains more than 20 notes it goes on trial to determine whether it’s problematic or not. then the op is given the death penalty
I like how this seems to imply that op gets the death penalty regardless of whether their post is deemed problematic.
that’s exactly what happens
thebootydiaries:
Me: *sees my stuffed animal on the floor next to my bed*
Me: Why wasn’t I a better parent
(Source: coveryoursoup)
pirategf:
pirategf:
i literally never force myself to do anything thats probably my biggest problem abjzsdgdhdj
me: ugh i dont want to do that
brain: dont do it then
me: can’t argue with that
(Source: newtkins)
